Situation Normal...

If my life got any weirder, my head would probably burst.

Saw Horton Hears a Who last night. It was fantastic.

My goddamn piercing is still fucking infected.
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Now playing: The Format - Pick Me Up
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That Did the Trick

I've been rather morose lately and I've gone out every night, but for some reason going out and actually doing something put me in a great mood. Sure, there were some awkward moments (not the type you'd expect at a gay bar, but still a bit awkward) and I was afraid of all the scantily clad fat chicks, but I actually had a lot of fun. I believe I'll take Tamra and Meagan up on that offer to do that again.
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Now playing: Electric Six - Gay Bar
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Huh?

I just spent four hours dancing in a gay bar on goth night, where I witnessed some rather unique things and ran into the infamous Kyo, a friend of Dora's. Seems Meagan and Tamra made their own friends.

And the WTF moment of the year award goes to...
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Now playing: Varujan Kojian, Utah Symphony Orchestra - The Imperial March
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Fire!

My lighter's been acting up lately. Turns out it needed a new flint and wick. Fortunately, they're cheap as hell. Fuel and all the lighter costs me maybe five bucks a year. It's calming to maintain the thing, though. Something about dismantling a broken tool and fixing it yourself makes it easy to ignore the problems.
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Now playing: Death Cab For Cutie - Crooked Teeth
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Singin' in the Rain

Maybe things are not what they seem.

I re-read my blog from start to finish yesterday. I am not nearly as happy as I think I am.

Nobody seems happy, though. Seems like all of my friends are beat-down, broken, falling apart. Maybe they're okay, though. I've got a reputation as the guy you can complain to. Maybe I believe the bad news because people have no need for me when they're happy.

Maintaining a good mood by force of will alone is draining. I don't think I can keep it up. Fuck.
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Now playing: Keane - Is It Any Wonder?
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What the hell happened to the future?

I'm not going to New York. God damn the scheduling conflicts. Also, my life has no direction, I can't tell what's going to happen more than a few hours in advance (and this isn't little stuff that I can't predict, this is life-changing detail), and my cast smells funny. I'd rather like to have my life back now.

Forced good moods are draining. I don't think mine can survive my life being a mess and my only escape failing to happen. No strength of will to give a fuck left in these tired old bones.
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Now playing: Coldplay - Warning Sign
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Just A Little Insane

So I went on a four-hour adventure yesterday. Well, I had one planned, anyway. I figured I'd run to Indian Hill, grab Dora and her friend, run to Louisville, and bounce right back. Here's what actually transpired:

I rolled up to grab Dora and ran to her house to grab the friend, Sarah. We first ran to Best Buy to exchange some faulty hardware before returning to her house. En route, I got a call from Meagan, who was subsequently invited on our adventure. We grabbed lunch at Arby's, which took for-fucking-ever, and I dropped off Dora and Sarah so I could grab Meagan.
With Meagan in tow, I returned to Dora's and gave her brother Joseph a ride to a violin lesson. We then set off for Louisville with only one stop at Wal-Mart for a quart of oil. The drive to Louisville was utterly uneventful with the exception of a brief street race.
When we got to Hillview, Sarah's suburb, we chilled at her house for a bit. Dora, Meagan, and I got back on the road, stopped at Fazoli's because Meagan and I hadn't been there in years, and set cruise control back to Cincinnati. The route back was plagued by a race with FedEx Guy, who would continuously change speed so we'd have to pass each other repeatedly.
The interesting part came around Sparta. I saw an abandoned car with a woman walking away from it at about 11:00 PM. She was out of gas. Meagan and I decided to help. We gave her a ride to the next exit for gas, took her back to her car, and made sure she got to the station okay. She continuously ranted in a thick Indiana accent about her boyfriend, gasoline, and "those fucking sneak pigs." The woman doesn't like undercover police. Seeing a chain-smoking, bleach-blond loon made Meagan's night. No adventure to Louisville can ever be normal...
Anyway, we returned safely, dropped off Dora, and went to chill with Julie and Sean. Sean couldn't go anywhere because we were heinously late getting back so at one, Julie and Meagan followed me to my basement to play some Forza. At roughly three, we disbanded and I took Meagan home.

Details: I spent $60 in gas, but got paid $95 to drive. The adventure started at 2 PM and ended at 4 AM, so my 4-hour adventure was actually 14. Good times, good times.

Meagan - The song below is what I was humming when we passed the green building.
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Now playing: Electric Six - When I Get To The Green Building
via FoxyTunes

It's a bit amusing.

I just dropped alcohol. I don't smoke. I don't touch drugs. I'm functionally celibate. I fit every physical constraint of a priest or a straight-edger at the moment, but I think radically differently. I really try not to limit myself on principle alone. I stopped drinking because I realized I derive no joy from being drunk. I don't smoke because it quickly gets expensive. I avoid drugs for the same reason. I'm too lazy and ambivalent to care about sex. It's good that the thought always counts. I'd hate to think I was living as clean as a man of faith should for anything other than personal preference. I was even working out regularly until I broke my hand. Before I know it I'll be eating healthy food and riding my bike to nearby destinations and I'll have no idea what happened to the miserly leech I once was.

Meh. People who do it for God or principle tend to get on their friends' nerves.
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Now playing: Ben Folds - Time
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Golden Days

I like how we never stop fighting to return to the good old days. The problem is that we never stop to realize that we only remember the good parts. The good old days are the same as they've always been.

Anyway, I'm cutting myself off from chemicals that aren't ibuprofen and caffeine. I'll make the rare exception for a cigar or a beer, but I realized last night that from the time the drinking games ended to the time the lights went off I was just waiting for my head to clear. What's the point of starting something only so you can wait for it to end? I'd just as soon leave altered states of mind in the Golden Days so I can at least remember them as better than they were. Besides, my drug of choice is adrenaline, and I don't have to buy that.

Stay Gold, kids.
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Now playing: Rise Against - Worth Dying For
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Manual Repair

So, uh... going to the doc today. Maybe they'll fix my crooked road rage finger. Yeah.

Mundane posts: proving that I still update this thing on occasion!
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Now playing: Jack Penate - Second, Minute Or Hour
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Hella Busy

Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day. Shit I gotta do:
Call GHA and talk to ortho about my crooked finger.
Call or visit Cincy State and talk to the office of the registrar.
Take an organic chemistry final.
Drive Dora to Louisville.
Grab Tamra from NKU and visit Meagan, then drop Meagan's computer off at her house.

Gonna be a crazy day, methinks.
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Now playing: Manic Street Preachers - Indian Summer
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4 On Glancing

The single most frustrating thing about all this is the complete inability to move my right wrist. Having your need to move impeded by fiberglass is frustrating in the extreme.
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Now playing: Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 AM)
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Yep, it's an X-ray.

Click to enlarge.
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Now playing: Turin Brakes - Stalker
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New Plans for the Future

UPDATES:

Turns out I get in-state at Cincy State. Also, they have a more fitting program for me than NKU or Gateway, Engineering Technologies. Think engineering sans math.

Also, NYC can't happen next weekend; Emily and Andrew will be in Boston. I'm shooting for the first Friday of April. I'll be in Indiana next weekend instead.

Samuel Adams makes an Irish Red Ale now. Holy god, I want some!
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Now playing: The Ataris - The Boys Of Summer
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Tomorrow Never Comes

Get the cast tomorrow.
Have to drive to Springdale at 8:00 AM, though.

I'm done with this damn splint. Ill-fitting, only flexible in the wrong places... at least the injury is stable. Little bruising, no pain. There is no good break, but this is damn close.

Dunno if I'm going black or white. Black matches the car. White is a canvas and my friends are bored artists.

I wont know my limits until I know what limits me.
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Now playing: The Orange Lights - Click Your Heels
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Crash Landing

So... I broke my hand today. I was getting the dog from the yard, slipped, and landed on my hand. Spiral fractured the 3rd metacarpal on my right hand. Fortunately, it isn't displaced at all so the wound is more inconvenient than painful.

Stuff I use my right hand for:
Typing
opening stuff
using a fork
using a mouse
pressing buttons
shifting gears
beating off
adjusting piercings
painting
shaving

I can use my left hand for maybe a third of that stuff, and will be able to use the cast-covered right for most of the rest, but typing, opening stuff, writing, and mousing will be hard. Jill and I are gonna spend some time apart. All you artist types have access to the cast. :)

It's gonna be a long six weeks...
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Now playing: Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 AM)
via FoxyTunes

Flee!

So I'm definitely going to New York. It'll be the last weekend of March, Friday-Monday. My goal was to have $500 remaining and I'll be around $200 over-budget, so I'll be good to go. I was thinking I couldn't go, but after all that's happened and all the stress that's built up, I can't not go. I have to get the fuck out of this city and hope for something good. The actual plan hasn't been finalized beyond a few basic points, but I've got time.

Few basic points: I'm driving. I'll park at Andrew's house in Connecticut and take the train in with Emily and Andrew. I'll improvise from there.
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Now playing: Math And Physics Club - Baby I'm Yours
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March is Women's History Month

Let's reenact it! Go make me a sandwich.

In other news:

• Whacking your healing piercing on the door of your car hurts like a motherfucker and causes bleeding!
  
• I'm bored as fuck!
  

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Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Bang the Doldrums
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It is March, people!

Enough with the fucking snow! I demand the continual rains characteristic of spring! I want to hear peals of thunder and children playing in puddles when the sun comes out! I want to drive anywhere and everywhere without salt or snow getting on my car! Enough with the fucking snow!
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Now playing: Coldplay - Warning Sign
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Not What I'd Hoped For

The meeting with Dean Bowers told me a few things:
1. I got a list of numbers from him and was referred to other people more capable of answering specific questions.
2. He doesn't realize I intend to return to Kentucky, and nothing I say will convince him of that.
3. UC may not want engineers, but it certainly wants my tuition. They'll do a lot to keep getting it.
4. I should finish out the quarter and register for the next.

I have a few problems with that, though. I'll talk to Roseman to see if the College of Applied Sciences has metalworking courses I'd like, since I also get in-state there, but I really want to cut free from UC at this point. I've made one bloody friend there. I have no complex social life to hold onto at UC, and apartments are vastly cheaper just across the river. In fact, everything is cheaper across the river. I can do metals at Gateway and make nearly as much with a two year as I would in engineering. I also have no desire whatsoever to finish out the quarter. I've got 18 credit hours of F and no chance to save a single one. My GPA will drop below 1.5 at the end of this quarter because I'm getting a 0.00. Also, I really want to spend St. Patrick's day in New York again. I can't really do that if I have school that day and I'm obligated to attend.

Fuck. I'm just as confused now as I was before the meeting that would clear up all the confusion.
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Now playing: Shiny Toy Guns - Rainy Monday 2.0
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Placeholder from Southwest Hell

I haven't been writing on this thing as religiously as I used to. I've been busy and spouting the same sad story day after day would lose me a lot of readers. I did talk to the Dean today. Details on that, my plans, maybe some hopes and dreams and aspirations (Ha!) will follow later. Stuff to look for includes a summary of the conversation, my interpretation, the next step in my plan, and a brief bit on road trips.

Only thing of note until I write the big post later: I've been reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. He says everything I wish I was articulate enough to say about your imaginary Friend.
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Now playing: Belle & Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister
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Hey, Mzungus!

Not to say any of you are wandering Spanish or Portuguese traders who have taken up residence in North Africa or anything...

Sidenote: That's pronounced "moo-ZOON-goos."

For as long as I can remember I've held the belief that people are either stupid or corrupt. Brandon disagrees. My point comes from observation, experience, and two old maxims:

"Knowledge is power."
"Power corrupts."

DISCUSS!
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Now playing: Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue
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K THX

Conversation I had with my high school guidance counselor in September 2005:
Phillipe: "You're going in for engineering? But you hate math. You want to reconsider this application or fill out some others before I send it out?"
Me: "Uh... no. Send it in. I'm sure I can pull it off somehow."
"Yeah, okay. Don't cry to me if you wash out."
"I don't intend to do so."
"Okay. Good luck."

Conversation with mi madre today about UC vanity plate on the front of my car:
Mom: "You took the license plate off your car?"
Me: "Uh, yeah. I threw it in the trunk on the off chance I might need it again."
"Is there anything you can do to salvage this quarter?"
"No."
[she closes the door angrily and walks back downstairs]

I dropped the book I was reading by my chair today. It landed on a letter dated April 7, 2006 that congratulated me on receiving a $5000 academic scholarship. It was supposed to last three quarters but I only got two quarters because I didn't maintain the GPA needed. I have literally been failing since I started.

It's funny that as soon as I'm comfortable with losing Engineering I get all these reminders at once that I failed. Oh well, every end is another beginning, right?
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Now playing: Kristofer Astrom - Just A Little Insane
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Meagan found something sweet.

Hey, look! Chromeo!

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Now playing: The Orange Lights - Click Your Heels
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Dumbstruck

I don't know how it got so nice out today, but it never needs to change.

Knowing your time at a college is limited is strangely liberating. Today I woke up, wandered outside with a cup of java, and decided I wasn't going to class today. I have more fun things to do and the weather's too nice to spend the day in a lecture hall. I went to school to scout out the drop site for the egg drop Wednesday; that's the last real thing I have to do while I'm in engineering. I drove to Newport and wandered into Hot Topic as it was opening to buy some new gewgaws for my ear; they were too expensive for me to get them now. I went to the library. I wandered around outside for a bit and threw open every window in the house.

I did nothing I was supposed to do and enjoyed my day off and couldn't be happier. This is honestly the happiest I've been since I realized I wasn't going to be an engineer. The funk is finally over, guys. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. It should be a little easier with some fresh optimism on my side. February may have been cursed, but March is a new month and a new chance to start over and actually make something of myself.
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Now playing: Cuff The Duke - Surging Revival
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Okay, so here's the plan:

I'm definitely gonna drop out, so I've got to have a plan, right? Here it is:
-Get a job. Hopefully get a job that's flexible enough to let me work through school without finding another job.
-Move out. While I'm happy here and I'm gonna miss the cooking and I'll have to switch to paying more than just rent (My parents cover insurance, phone, internet, XM), I want to be out of the house when I'm 21. My parents used to joke about how I'd be the type to live in the basement with no girlfriend until I was 35. I intend to live in a cramped apartment with no girlfriend instead. It's a freedom thing.
-Get a humidor for said apartment. Just because I've always wanted one.
-Enroll either in NKU for sociology or business or in a trade school for metalworking so I can end up as a bureaucrat or a steelworker.

It's not much, but at least the song's appropriate.
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Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year
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