Just shoot me now.

Back of the head, please. I don't want to feel it.

"February 6, 2008
Dear Mr. Hodge:
The Committee on Academic Standards at its January 30th meeting reviewed your total record following receipt of your Autumn Quarter grade report. It was noted that your quality point average (QQPA) for the quarter was 1.821, less than the 2.00 minimum required, for the second consecutive quarter.
Your record shows you to be deficient in the following required curricular courses:
DEFICIENCIES NOTED:
MATH 257 Calc Lab - 1 cr. (F)
MATH 264 Calculus IV - 5 cr. (W). You are repeating this fundamental class this Winter Quarter 2008. You must pass it on this second attempt, else you face Suspension, if not Dismissal, from the College.
MATH 273 Differential Equations - 5 cr (not taken)
In light of the above, the Committee has voted that you be placed on ACADEMIC PROBATION until you improve your overall record. To be removed from probation, you need to avoid further deficiencies and catch up to within four credit hours of your standard curriculum.
Your entrance into Co-op will have to be delayed.
Please feek free to contact me at the College office if you have questions.
Sincerely, Mark T. Bowers, PhD, PE
Chairman, Committee of Academic Standards"

That's right, kids, my current standing at UC is as follows:
No coop spring quarter. I'll be able to coop summer quarter at the soonest.
I have to pass every class this quarter, with no withdrawals, or face expulsion. I am currently failing Materials and Energy Balance badly, barely passing Organic Chemistry, and failing Calc IV catastrophically. Failing Calc again is a sure way to get ejected from the college of engineering. There you have it, on paper: The first hard evidence that I'm a fucking failure. Oh, boy!

Funny how this came right after my future prediction post, eh? How's the sociology program at NKU? What the fuck can you do with such a degree? I need a hug.