That's it!

So I hadn't thought about why I was headed in this direction, but it dawned on me today. I think I've always known, but it only coagulated into real thought today.

I have no ambition.

I know I can be happy at just a minimum of existence and have no goals whatsoever. The future matters none to me, and so long as I can find things to keep me happy in the present things are perfect. I don't give a fuck if I'm stuck in an alley; I'll be the king of my goddamn cardboard castle and jump a train someplace for the winter. We're all told that we need to grow up and have goals and ambition and be motivated. First high school, then college, then you work until, sometime in the distant future, you might get to retire before you die. No emphasis is placed on actually being satisfied with your life. It's all about the continual progression upwards. I, for one, have never believed in it. I've never seen past the use I'd get out of things. Money for money's sake is as worthless as the paper it's printed on. A domicile to share with friends is worth everything. I fell into the trap like the rest of the generation, but I've got to look at things realistically now. I'll have no dependents. Reproduction is nowhere on my agenda. I'll have nobody dragging me along. That's the lure of bachelorhood. I am motivated only so far as will keep me happy and fed, and it takes the barest of minimums to keep me happy.

You kids enjoy the system. I'll live on my own terms.
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