Saturday, February 09, 2008

"Y sayathee sacred Feth."

You know, sometimes I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. I don't need this stress. Why am I dealing with this shit, this baggage that isn't mine? I can never produce an honest, solid answer. For some odd reason that I'll never be able to put into words, I keep going back. I stay on damage control. Maybe I've grown attached and refuse to let go. Maybe it's just the right thing to do. Maybe it's both or neither and I'll never be able to say.

Maybe one day things will settle down. But when they do, will I be satisfied? I get this nagging feeling that if I can solve one crisis, I'll find another. I've been attracting trouble for as long as I can remember. Everyone's broken. I guess I'm just trying to save the world, one lost soul at a time. I stay sane by repairing what damage I can.

I'm still amazed by the quality of the friendships I'm building. When everything seems to be crumbling, new support comes out of the dust.
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2 comments:

Maculo said...

good luck. i still haven't found an answer to that question. those series of questions..

it did help that i moved 200 and some miles away from them all. then i started the process all over. must be an addiction in it's own right.

Brandon Black said...

Hey, as long as your willing to keep offing enemies of the Emperor, I think i can come up with more than a few distractions from it all :D