Shaping Up

Got a busy week. Today I replaced a faulty part on the VW, Rain-Xed the windshield, dropped some stuff off at the library, and scouted out the new Nathan's Famous/Bruster's they're opening on Kenton Lands behind the Taco Bell. Should be open this week. I needs me a hot dog.

Tomorrow I go to the DMV to take the written theory test for my motorcycle learner's permit. Turns out my dad rode twenty-odd years ago, so I'll definitely be on two wheels by August.

Wednesday (if I have the permit) I'm gonna stop by the Honda/Kawasaki/Suzuki dealer on Dixie Highway in Erlanger to ask some questions. My old man says I'll need probably a 250cc bike, but I figure a dealer will have more answers to more questions. Sometime this week I also need to call up Cincinnati State and see about getting back in school.

Friday is a holiday, so I'll hopefully be hanging out with you guys. I've been down for a long few weeks or months or something. By the end of this week I'll finally be living again.
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Now playing on iTunes: Panic At The Disco - That Green Gentlemen (Things Have Changed)
via FoxyTunes

What the fuck!?

It was raining, so I decided to go for a 2 AM walk. It was pretty uneventful until the end, when Kaitlin and I were pulled over by the police for walking. They wrote down our names, addresses, and birth dates, suspiciously eyed Kaitlin's bubble wrap, and told us to go home, like it's illegal for an adult to walk around a quiet suburb at night. Seriously, fuck the police.
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Now playing on iTunes: Turin Brakes - Stalker
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Superficial

Admittedly it was a good weekend, but I'm slipping back into introversion. Every day I'm surrounded by people with whom I feel no connection, despite the links we had in the past. Every weekend goes by tainted by the knowledge that I have another week of work. Another week with no connections and no extremes, not that the weekends have any. The same bland emotion stays from Monday to Friday and often back to Monday. I even feel my old charisma slipping from lack of use and lack of care. Oh, well. That's not the Cameron you know. If anyone needs me I'll be faking happy and living an isolated life in my dream world of work and weekends and absolutely no future.

I'd say I needed a drink, but I don't. I need a lifestyle overhaul. I want something more substantial and less isolated. Gods damn my hatred of change. Gods damn my embrace of procrastination and watching the world move on while my dreams die in its wake.
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Now playing on iTunes: Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - La Costa Brava
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Long Weekend

The warehouse had so few orders come in this week that I was told to simply not come in today. That's okay, because I have a busy weekend ahead of me.
Today I'm gonna change my spark plugs and hang out at Sean's. You should all stop by Sean's tonight if you can.
Tomorrow I hang out with Dora and then go to Joey's.
Sunday is whatever event Meagan has in mind. Should be awesome!
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Now playing on iTunes: Reel Big Fish - Everything Sucks
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Misunderestimated

Seems we had a misunderstanding. I said I'd like to go back to 2006, when things were simple. A few of you took that to mean I wanted to go back before I met you. What I meant was I wanted that mindset back. I wanted to remember the hope and the simple happiness before my life was complicated by college and alcoholism and the horrors of that last leap into adulthood. Meagan, Nikki, Kaitlin - I got to know you three best in 2007, admittedly, but you have nothing to worry about. You're still three of my favorite people and I love the lot of you. If I could go back to how I felt in 2006 and keep you, I'll have found perfection.
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Now playing on iTunes: The Format - She Doesn't Get It
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I'll be there if you'll be there.

I was gonna write a eulogy for the last two years today. Instead I read Nikki's blog. I felt something I haven't felt in months: hope. Hope that we might retreat beyond the stress and recent trauma and petty fucking differences. Hope that we could get together and know that nothing was awkward. As I'm typing this, Courtney is IMing me out of the blue for the first time in months saying that we need to have a shindig.

Read this and something will be done. We can make it Sunday, so Jimmy can be there and Fort Mitchell Park, because I don't think we'll get thrown out at sunset.

Fucking Disaster

Most of you were there. Most of you know what happened. That was the last shindig.

We have become reclusive. We are not the friends we thought we were, and we do not get along like we should. The bickering and drama and tension and over-hyping and everything else that killed that party was not a one-time thing. It is endemic. It will not go away, and unless I'm sure I can build an event like the shindigs of old (which were essentially reunions of my old high school friends) I will not be planning any more. There will be strict experiments with themed shindigs, though, because I'm determined to make Shindig goes to Prom a reality.

I hope tonight goes well. Otherwise I'm not gonna bother to talk to the lot of you for a long while. I need my weekends to relax and chill out after work, and if I have to deal with drama I'm just gonna cut off the dramatic people.

Gold Standard

I think I'm better off than I have been in a long time. I have actual goals and plans. I'm healthy. I haven't been in shape like this since high school, if I ever was. I'm working a job I don't hate and saving up money for a change in lifestyle and for the first time in several years I'm certain that someone gives a flying fuck.

Welcome to the good times.
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Now playing on iTunes: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Rascal King
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Welcome to the Weekend

And I'll be busy. Tonight I'm due for a cigar with my most consistent friend and a stop at Sean's if only because I haven't seen Julie in bloody ages.
Saturday I get to deal with the family, which decided to come over tomorrow instead of Sunday at the last minute. Mom hopes Mirthquake will drive them off. I hope Gary shows.
Saturday evening is the long-awaited Mirthquake. Please, for the love of your God, don't do anything that will put me on damage control.
Sunday I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping all day. When the sky is finally streaked with red and orange I'll shower and drive to Jimmy's.

Should be fun.
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Now playing on iTunes: The Eagles - Take It Easy (Live)
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Kick-Starting the Old Dreams

For the last couple weeks I was pretty sure my motorcycle plan would straight-up fail, but I realized two things: I've got an uncle who happens to be a Harley guy and too many friends in too many places to take the Jetta everywhere. Example: It takes roughly $30 in gas to drive down to Louisville and back. On a bike, that'd be about $10. Maybe less, since I'd drive the bike more efficiently than I tend to drive the car. It'd be one cylinder and about 400 pounds, rider and all, for the bike I'm looking at. The Jetta is four cylinders, almost four times the displacement, pulling two solid tons of car and spending gas on electronics and hydraulics that an air-cooled bike doesn't have.

Uncle Gary will be here Sunday. That's when I start asking real questions.
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Now playing on iTunes: Coldplay - White Shadows
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Micro-Blog 36

I'm pretty sure I'm unconsciously sabotaging myself and I have no idea why. I could try something new, something I've yet to try. I could do it without real consequences and pretend to be normal. I'm a logical person on all but a single, simple topic but when I run into it I finally reach a point where I'm terribly awkward.

Pretend you don't want something long enough and your subconscious will believe you, I guess.

Growing Up or Just Getting Older?

Over the last couple months I've come to understand just how much I've changed in the last ten years. It's a lot to talk about in one post, so I'll just mention the practical aspects.

I am not the geek I once was. I can't remember a time in the last couple years when I played D&D and wasn't bored to tears most of the time. Every game of 40K leaves me in a worse mood than when I started. I haven't played a video game for any significant amount of time this year, with the exception of a few parties. These are not the responses of my early high school days. I used to enjoy the games. I don't know what happened, but I think it's time I put away my D20. I'm done with Dungeons and Dragons and my Iron Hands are being retired from the nonstop war of the far future. My orks and chaos are on sale to the highest bidder.

I am not the geek I once was, and that doesn't disappoint me.
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Now playing on iTunes: Coldplay - The Scientist
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Turn it up!

It's presently 88 and sunny, with 59% humidity. I'm in a great mood. You all know I can't bloody stand winter. In a move that doesn't reek of hypocrisy, I'd like to take a moment to celebrate the coming of summer. I'm happy with scorching heat and sunburns. I have a head start on the yearly dark farmer's tan and I smile every time I climb in the car and feel the sting of hot leather. It's officially time to transition from dark ale to pale lager and relax under the thermonuclear wonder of the blazing sun.

Here's to a long, lazy summer and another green Christmas!

Hey there Mr. Blue,
We're so pleased to be with you!
Look around see what you do,
Everybody smiles at you!
-ELO, Mr. Blue Sky

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Now playing on iTunes: Electric Light Orchestra - Mr. Blue Sky
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That worked out.

Second shift turned out to be exactly what I was going for. I don't see people any less than usual (Which is to say basically never) and I'm not a zombie at work. Other perks:

Second is hella laid back. If I hadn't spent a month on first, I wouldn't know about several rules.

It's quiet. The warehouse operates at capacity on first shift. Second shift is maybe half to a quarter as many people, so the only real noise is the conveyor belt and fans.

With fewer people in the way, I can get more work done with less effort. Woo efficiency!

And speaking of efficiency, traffic moves slower West on 275 than East at 3:00, and at midnight there are so few cars on the road and the average speed is so much lower that I can drive 70 to work and 65 home and save gas on the commute.
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Now playing on iTunes: Bears - You Can Tell
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This week should be interesting. By the end of it I need to do a few things:

Get back some money I lent to somebody and turn it into a Zippo Blu.
Adjust to the new sleep schedule.
Start really looking into the motorcycle project.
Talk, if only via Facebook wall conversation, to about ten different people.

Also, I got some 12, 10, and 8 G tapers, so by the end of next week I'll be up to an 8.

Does anyone know how late Starbucks is open? I'm gonna need a frappuccino or something later.
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Now playing on iTunes: Matchbox Twenty - Push
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Gotta Love the Fresh Air

A road trip to Jackson Center was exactly what I needed. I ran up North where I had little or no cell service, met Alicia's friends (Many of whom had heard stories... oh, god), saw some small-town "wonder" and "boredom" and was slept on by cats and kittens, assailed by dogs, and sexually assaulted by a rabbit. I also came out strengthening a friendship that was definitely not in need of repair and I have a sunburn that'll be a dark tan by morning.

And to think I was half-ass resisting this for four months...