Old Crowd Blues

I've been considering the big year-end post a lot lately. It's been a big year, but the overall theme seems to be growing distance from people. This weekend, I half-ass planned to spend time with the old crew. Instead, I did some yard work. I can't tell if Meagan and I are speaking; we never do these days.

On the other side, I'm spending more time with the people who contact me. I'm hanging with James more often, for example. I'll probably borrow Dead Like Me now that she's showed me an episode. I'm frequently in Louisville, and have standing orders from Sara Ames and Stevo to give them a call when I'm in town.

I dunno... Everything is functional, and yet something seems awry.
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Meagan FTW

Cameron knows when to shut the fuck up and knows how to let shit be
Brandon doesn't know boundaries with conversation, how to leave people alone and all that.
and then Cameron was fine being single not having sex and just not whining about that shit
brandon isn't and he bothers his female friends, and ends up trying to be nice and just freaking people out

I just don even get how you think you two are the same.

You two are different ends of the "friendly asshole" and that's why people feel different about you both

And actually you two are not assholes, you just pretend to be

so there
honesty.

I think that was more or less the answer we were after. Kaitlin's was also very good.

Conclusion: It seems that I have a largely positive reputation because I'm available on request and only on request. Last year I would frequently hear about events at Meagan's and then IM her about it so that I didn't arrive uninvited (which would have been perfectly acceptable). I asked Sarah out only after she admitted interest first. I use a lot of innuendos and mention sex frequently, but I'm rarely specifically talking about my sex or your sex. Nobody is bothered by sex in general. I never intentionally flirt unless it's understood that I'm joking.

Brandon's largely negative reputation comes from his habit of prying and being more specific. He tries to be nice. If you're actually a good guy, trying isn't necessary. It just happens. He mentions things in terms of his failing love life or your (generally functioning) one. He flirts with people who plainly want none of it.

It's a simple matter of the difference between available and invasive.

On a side note, it's entirely possible to be both a good guy and an asshole. It's similar to being well-educated and an idiot.
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Now playing on iTunes: Metallica - All Nightmare Long
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Another Image Overhaul

Summer of 2006 to fall 2007 was the late 80s pseudo-punk look, featuring denim and a fedora.
Late fall 2007 to now was marked by the trench and a more businesslike or militaristic look based on the 30s.

It's about time for a change. My plan: Working-class European, middle of the last century. This requires a tweed sportcoat, leather jacket, or bomber jacket, scarf and a flat cap. To the VDO!

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Now playing on iTunes: Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candle, A Little More "Touch Me"
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Query

Kraut and I were talking, and neither of us can put a good reason to the fact that we're both friendly assholes, but you see us in vastly different lights. My reputation is largely positive, while his is largely negative. What qualities does do we possess that would account for this?

I request comments, and I request complete honesty. God damn any of you who don't answer because you don't want to be mean. If mention "dependability" or "creepiness" or the like, I ask now that you clarify.
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Now playing on iTunes: Ben Folds - There's Always Someone Cooler Than You
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I drove to work through snow today.

Kinda makes me want to curl up in a little ball and hibernate until April.

Also, I have a free weekend and nothing to do with it. Hopefully I can get something together with the crew I spent last fall with, but I haven't seen any of them recently with the exception of the shindig and bowling. I'll figure something out, I'm sure.
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Now playing on iTunes: Streetlight Manifesto - On And On And On
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Full Season

November 14th was the three-month. A full season. The hot summer was just fading on the first drive down to hang out. Now, I freeze in my room as autumn ends. I'm still not quite used to this. I spent a long time as a loner, social but detached. Now I've managed the one thing you all told me I would, despite my protests.

It's gonna be a long winter, but not as cold as last year.
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Now playing on iTunes: Frank Sinatra - I Get A Kick Out Of You
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Thinking Clearly Now

I have thought about it more, and decided to rescind my speech from yesterday. I've stated time and again that if you want me, you call and make plans. I'm not going to contact you. Quite frequently I'm contacted by Alicia or James or Jimmy and consequently I see them all the time. Hell, even Gabe IMed me last night. Guess what? We hung out. Julie called about bowling last Friday. I did that, too.

I have failed nobody. I am always available, except the (on average) two weekends a month I spend in Louisville. I literally spend almost all my free time dicking around online.

You want me, you gotta call or text or IM. Even Facebook or MySpace or email will do. You've known since you met me that I won't call you.

That is all.
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Now playing on iTunes: Ben Folds - Not The Same
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My Fellow Americans...

I have failed you.

Meagan texted me last night about half an hour after I fell asleep. She lamented the fact that we never hang out anymore, that I split my time between work and Sarah and leave nothing for anyone else. She wants to see the return of the Cameron she knows, the one she can call in the middle of the night with a problem and expect a solution. The kind that doesn't miss Julie's birthday. I have failed you. I pride myself on dependability and can't back it up.

That changes now. This weekend, I go to Louisville. It's the three-month. I've been with Sarah for a quarter of a year and away from you for at least as long. Next weekend, I give to Meagan. We'll plan something, kid. I haven't forgotten you.
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Now playing on iTunes: Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life
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Two Questions!

The first question is in regards to a poll I just put up. My current glasses are old and bent and I can only twist them back into shape so many times before I break them. I'm thinking of replacing them with either contacts or pince-nez glasses. Don't know what pince-nez are? Refer to this photo of Woodrow Wilson. If you answer "other" on the poll, leave a comment here. Don't answer LASIK. It's well outside my price range.

The other question is more of a request. My Facebook "About Me" is old and probably outdated. I'm writing a new one based on my reputation rather than what I think about me, which is a lot better than what you think of me. Describe me in one sentence.

Also, I start buying beer in one month. Woo!
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Now playing on iTunes: Rocky Votolato - Before You Were Born
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Holy God, Another One!

Sarah Leidy alerted me to another free Electric Six concert at the Hatter, this time the day after thanksgiving. I'm not sure if this is sponsored by RJ Reynolds like the last one, but I'll be there. If I can get Sarah up here, we'll both be there.

Who's with me?
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Hoodwinked!

It started a week ago with a secret. All Sarah would tell me is that it involved Wal-Mart, that I'd be amazed, and that I would never guess what it was.

Friday was a shitty day at work. I went in early, knowing I'd go home at 8:30 after half a day with first shift and too few RF guns for two shifts, so the guns that second shift did get were malfunctioning. I hopped in the car at 8:30 and ran to meet Alicia for dinner at Steak & Shake, with my usual good timing. I pulled up next to her at the light off the on-ramp and gunned it into the parking lot. Then Sarah got out of the car.
I'm usually a very controlled, subdued person. I'll freely admit that I'm a control freak. All I could manage was a, "What the hell are you doing here!?" followed by fifteen solid minutes of near-silence. Completely lost the ability to hold a coherent thought. Alicia and Sarah had been planning it for a week. Stevo knew, but only incidentally. Mom was in on it. Nobody else had any idea. I was going to head home, get some sleep, and have a mediocre shindig and boring Sunday, all the while hoping Sarah could be there.
Plans changed. I was surprised. My subtle control was shattered.

I used to see the happy couples and wonder what the hell could be so great about that and why the hell anyone would sacrifice part of themselves for another person. It just seemed stupid. Life as a loner seemed so much better by comparison.

I think I get it now.
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Colorblind

At first, I was kinda blah about the whole election thing. I didn't particularly like either candidate, and inevitably I voted more against McCain/Palin than for Obama/Biden. I couldn't morally justify voting for McCain because I believe in staying out of countries that aren't yours and haven't attacked you unless you're building an empire and I couldn't justify voting for Palin because a vote for Palin is a vote against atheism. It's a vote against sexual freedom. It's a vote for the same draconian bullshit we've been dealing with for a decade, but worse.

Now, I can see Obama's hope. He might overtax me and spend my money on crap I won't use, but both of the candidates would do that. The difference is that McCain would have squandered it on war and Obama is spending it on social reform, on Americans. They're also of vastly different generations. John McCain is 72. He's of my grandfather's generation. He's an early baby boomer. Barack Obama is of my father's generation. He was born under Kennedy, and grew up in the late seventies and early eighties. As a young adult, he experience the great technological boom of the eighties, followed by the great computer advance of the Clinton years. His whole life has been marked by hope, and experience that change is positive.

Barack Obama is a man of great social reform. Like Kennedy starting the Space Race, Lyndon Johnson's civil rights victories, and Clinton's expert management of the world's sole superpower, this man could be one of the great Democrats. The Obama terms will be, as the terms of his predecessors, years of great reform and economic expansion, of foreign nations once again celebrating the Stars and Stripes, and of citizens abroad and at home once again proud to be Americans, with the words, "Yes we can!" on their lips. This classic American, the son of a Kenyan immigrant and a girl from Kansas, our first black chief, has finally given me the hope that the rest of the world sees in him. King once had a dream that men would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. America has judged well this week. The Bush years are over.

I can't help but smile. I've always been a patriot, but I'm no longer worried about the repercussions of loving the greatest nation on earth.
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Now playing on iTunes: Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me (Live)
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Queer Result

Proposition 8 passed in California. Fortunately, the Democrats control the house, senate, and executive branches. While I don't like this from an economic standpoint, it is a win for civil rights. It's only a matter of time before the various constitutional bans are overturned by making it legal federally. (For those that don't follow, Proposition 8 is a constitutional amendment to legally define marriage as between a man and a woman. Similar amendments have passed in 27 other states, but California is special in that gay marriage was legal there. The previously granted marriage licenses are still valid.)

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
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Now playing on iTunes: Streetlight Manifesto - Down, Down, Down To Mephisto's Cafe
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To the Polls!

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Weekend Recap

So after a great deal of arguing and threatening and whatnot, Sarah finally made it to Cincinnati under her own power. The Mustang made the trip just fine and we arrived at my house within 20 seconds of each other Friday night. The Halloween Kegger at James and Saras' place was, as usual, fucking awesome. I ran into a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long while and Sheri' and I lost a game of pong to Tommy and Matt. Best costumes of the night: Tommy's Doctor Horrible and Scott's bull dyke. Alicia once again showed that she is extremely photogenic.
Saturday was a quick run to VW and the mall to grab some stuff, followed by Moe's and a movie night. We showed up at home to find Alicia there doing laundry. She'd also stopped at Moe's, but I didn't get her text until she asked me about it. Go coincidence! Later that night we met Courtney, Sam Payne, and Jim Kaz at the Anchor. They brought fellow SugoiConners with them. To wrap Saturday night up, Sarah and I invited Sam and Courtney to Lookout Point to see the city. I was the only one who had been before, and Sam had his new camera. It was damn cold, but the view was fantastic. I need to take Sarah at sunset sometime so the sky is dark but all the lights in the buildings are still on. Cincinnati is much darker at 3 AM.
Today we chilled with Kaitlin and Joey, and Sarah took off at 7.

I was pretty sure Friday that she wouldn't make it, but I'm really happy she did. The weekend was one of the best in a long while and since it involved both Sarah and all my friends from home, it couldn't have been much better. Now I just wait for November 14th, the 3-month.

In the meantime: I believe a shindig is in order. The band is off next weekend and I have nothing better to do, so if any of you readers are up for a fire and a film next Saturday, let me know. I'll be happy to Facebook something.
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Now playing on iTunes: Rocky Votolato - Before You Were Born
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