Yesterday was a travesty. Today I looked at blackboard and saw the grade I got on the second midterm. I just got an 8 out of 60 on my second calculus midterm. That makes my total grade 24/120. Looks like I'm going to have to talk to the professor. Ask her if it's physically possible to pass. If not I've got to drop the class. Then I get to talk to Dr. Roseman, my adviser, to see if my education can be saved. If I lose a quarter to this and coop gets pushed back I don't know that I can make it. I can't work with 18 credit hours every quarter and I don't have the money to keep going. I needed this coop.
This is it. For the first time I honestly think I can't scrape by and that I'm on a one-way road to failing out of engineering. I guess it's time to start seriously thinking about what else I could major in. My mind seems to be at NKU anyway. UC is just a good dream that's quickly going to shit. I've been faking happy for too long and I'll be taking bets on how long I can keep it up...
And the fun part is that the two people I'm most likely to talk to are right here with me, losing their minds and watching the future die.
UPDATE: I have, in fact, failed that class. I'm withdrawing ASAP so it doesn't harm my GPA any more than it has already. Honestly, I feel better. Knowing I've failed is so much better than believing it but still having hope.
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