Define "Train Wreck"

Because that's the only word that really works. I could do the generic blog thing. I could whine and say I'm not gonna repeat that particular mistake, but I try to keep the lying to a minimum here. I was plastered enough to have a good time while the party went to hell around me. I regret nothing. What I'm gonna give you is an explanation. What I saw and felt with as little opinion as possible. As of this writing I'm still way too tired to judge anyway and the fact that I made it home alive, unhurt, and unmolested by police is a feat. I didn't drive drunk, of course. I don't have any left in me at this point, but I'm dead on my feet. This is likely to be updated through the day as I compose my thoughts more and details that had been lost reach the front of my mind.

I had been talking to Sarah, Nikki, and Meagan shortly before I left. Seems Meagan is at odds with Sarah, who was on a quest to find some Red Stripe. I get to the "party" and the participants at that point were the residents, Ryan, and Julie. Except for Ryan and a bit of his wine no booze had been consumed and wouldn't be until a few more people arrived. Those few more people included Ryan's friend from Louisville (I didn't hear her say a word the whole time), Fifthe, two of Meagan's friends (one of whom I believe was called Kayla), Kraut, and a few more people I didn't know.

At perhaps ten Nikki got bored and we broke into her rum. Nikki had been drinking for a bit before this and was already buzzed when the rest of us started. Julie and Kraut weren't fans of the flavor at all, but we convinced them to drink at least something. From what I can tell my quest to get booze into Brandon was a failure and after that party I doubt he'll be willing to try it again. He had two and a half of rum and one of vodka, and by the end of the night had seven shots total. The rest of us had varying amounts but Nikki and I both drank too much too fast.

This is when things become a blur. I never blacked out, but I also didn't do anything that matters during this period. Maybe an hour of stumbling around and having conversations later Nikki and I turned inside out. I had an empty stomach and the presence of mind to make sure a trash can was at hand and my sense of smell was obliterated by ethanol so I stayed in Nikki's room while she emptied her guts and made sure she didn't end up on her back. I know it took a while for things to go wrong, but time slows for me when I'm plastered so I stayed in there for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only an hour or so. I intermittently heard Nikki and got up to make sure she was still good but other than that I half-slept on the floor and was cold. I know the disaster hadn't happened yet because I went to get my hoodie from the car with Brandon's help at perhaps midnight or one. I heard loud fucking coming from the other room and didn't want to go for the hoodie until the sex noises had died down. Turns out they were just watching Pirates.

Next thing of note is Meagan stumbling in crying and Amber stumbling in with a sad look on her face about five minutes apart. I figured I'd get up because my spidey senses were tingling. Damage control time. I'm not gonna write down what I heard happened because it doesn't need to be made public, but what you can know is that Amber hit Meagan and Meagan fucking lost it. I had anger and hurt feelings on Meagan's side and pure regret on Amber's. I'm just gonna hope this doesn't ruin things for them. If you want details on this bit, ask me. I might tell you. Probably the only people I'll talk to about it are those involved and Nikki, since I was charged with filling her in on what happened while she was blacked out.

Anyway, I took a walk. First I took a walk with Brandon. We lamented about how the world was against him and sometimes I'm pretty sure it is. His situation sometimes seems like evidence against a god. He eventually decided he needed to wander off alone so I returned to the circle behind Norse hall and ran into Amber. Walked around with her and ended up, as usual, handing my hoodie to her. I think every time the two of us end up drinking in that dorm room she's underdressed and cold. [shrug]

Eventually Brandon returned and last I saw there's been at least a measure of reconciliation. So much drama...

After a while Nikki woke up. Whatever she last ate was red and it was everywhere. I've got one image burned into my mind of her staring into the bathroom mirror covered in puke. She's not gonna enjoy today. The room still reeks and probably will for days.

I met the vaunted Alex, too. Figured I'd be sober when I met him but he came and went while I was still gone. I heard one person call him an asshole but from what I can tell he's a pretty friendly guy. Slowly, surely, people tricked out. It ended with Brandon and Amber on the fold-out couch and me on the floor. Julie maybe stayed but I wasn't paying any attention and was half-asleep anyway.

The sun woke me at 9:45 and while at first I figured I'd stay a bit but had no reason to so I wandered to the car and drove home. I don't remember any of the drive but know I set the cruise control, drove like I had a cop in the car with me, and got home good. Some motherfucker hit my door in the parking lot, though. The paint's pretty abused. Breakfast was a can of Red Bull, a hot shower, and this blog post. I think I need something a little more substantial than that.

Do I regret anything? Hell no. Am I gonna repeat this mistake in the future? Almost certainly. That's just the way things work.