For probably six months I've been the go-to guy. The man who would happily rescue anyone from any situation for any reason. I didn't do it for recognition or reputation or personal gain. I did it because it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it's made me feel like being people's friend is my job. I'm taking a week's vacation from this unpaid job of mine. If you've got issues, find another shoulder to cry on. If you need a ride, call somebody else. If you need help of any kind whatsoever between now and Saturday, I kindly direct you to fuck yourself silly. I hate kids. I don't ever want to have them. When my friends start acting like children I can only take it for so long.
I blew up on Meagan with this one today. I was finally tired of her being eighteen but acting like she's five. In a week I'll be able to deal with it again but in the meantime I'm going to be the way I was in high school. I will be a pure, unrestrained dick. I'll do or say what pleases me because I can and because I know I'll get away with it. I made Meagan cry tonight, and you know what? It felt good. It's been so long since I've actually made someone cry on purpose that I forgot how good it felt. It's beautiful. It's wondrous. It makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing being the nice guy.
So that's it. That's all I ask for. I want one week every six months where I can be simply, blissfully hateful. I'm going to take that whether you want me to or not. This is mostly a warning. On Saturday if you want anything, and I mean anything, I'll be happy to help you. Until then, find a nice masturbatorium and fuck yourself.
You're right, Brandon, you're right. It really is nice to tell people to shove it sometimes. It's been so long I forgot what it was like.
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