I'm so incredibly glad I've cultivated a reputation as straight up worthless as relationship material. I've instead built a reputation as an older brother. A living crutch. A general good guy with an evil sense of humor. Anything but a boy. I can't tell you how handy it comes in on nights like this. Jesus H. Christ in a fucking chicken basket...
And there I was, thinking all I'd be dealing with is physical trauma. Now I remember why I don't feel safe drinking at these events. Gods forbid I should forget again.
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Hey now, remember I had a crush on you early last year. I don't know if it's that you seem like worthless relationship material, but that you give off the vibe that you don't want one and not to bother.
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