"Hey, why isn't your answer in the form of a vector?"
"Because I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Oh. Uh... okay."
-My last conversation with my calculus professor.
Next week I'm gonna schedule an appointment with the dean of admissions and head of the academic standards committee, Mark Bowers. I'm going to ask him about two subjects I don't understand and hoped never to think about: Dropping out of college and transferring out of state. My position is untenable, my last hope finally lost, and two years of my life have officially burned away on a wasted dream that I was never good enough to pursue. The only regret is that I didn't realize sooner and save myself the time, money, and stress of ultimate failure.
I remember back when I was a child. All my great disappointments were just little hopes and dreams then, waiting for me to grant them some spark of life or finally destroy them all. We all play Shiva to our aspirations. It's never pleasant finding that you've chosen Shiva the Destroyer over Shiva the Benefactor.
Where the fuck am I supposed to go from here?
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1 comment:
i know what it's like to realize how bad you've fucked up. and coming to nku definitely would suck, but maybe "starting over" (not literally, of course) would help. i definitely don't want to see you fail, and i sorta had the same lesson as you at x. though sociology may not be what you really really wanna do, you may really end up liking it. sorry you're in this mess homie, if i can help (which I know i can't) let me know.
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